Hilarity from the drabblematic
by FullMetalShortyLuver
Summary: I put in the terms and stuff. And it just.. oh, read it. You seriously won't regret it!
1. Chapter 1

_The Battle For The Stick_

_On the table, Katniss licked her Stick. She had been busy with the Stick for hours and now wanted nothing more than a White cuddle or a Sexy massage from her lover Peeta._

_She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her Kissable Peeta appeared at the door, grinning lazily._

_"Put down the Stick," Peeta said lovingly. "Unless you want me to lick that Stick on your manhood."_

_Katniss put down the Stick. She was Odd. She had never seen Peeta so Red before and it made her Black._

_Peeta picked up the Stick, then withdrew a Egg from his womanhood. "Don't be so Odd," Peeta said with a Red grimace. "A human bit my finger this morning, and everything became amazing. Now with this Stick and this Egg I can lovingly rule the world!"_

_Katniss clutched her Loving finger sexily. This was her lover, her Kissable Peeta, now staring at her with a Red womanhood._

_"Fight it!" Katniss shouted. "The human just wants the Stick for his own Kissable devices! He doesn't love you, not the White way I do!"_

_Katniss could see Peeta trembling sexily. Katniss reached out her manhood and touched Peeta's womanhood lovingly. She was Kissable, so Kissable, but she knew only her Loving love for Peeta would break the human's spell._

_Sure enough, Peeta dropped the Stick with a thunk. "Oh, Katniss," he squealed. "I'm so White, can you ever forgive me?"_

_But Katniss had already moved on the table. Like the homework I do; slowly and all night, she pressed her manhood into Peeta's womanhood. And as they fell together in an amazing fit of love, the Stick lay on the floor, Black and forgotten._


	2. Chapter 2

_A Yummy Occurrence_

_Katniss paced up and down, jiggling her finger. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Egg, had arranged to meet her here on the table. "I have something Odd to tell you," she had said._

_Mary Sue Egg was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Katniss expected to see her bounce up, her Kissable hair streaming behind her and her Loving eyes aglow._

_Katniss heard footsteps, but they seemed rather Black for a delicate and Red girl like Mary Sue Egg, whose tread was Sexy. She turned around and found Peeta staring at her._

_"What are you doing here?" Peeta said sexily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."_

_Katniss had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so dreamily. "Mary Sue Egg asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Peeta, her womanhood began to throb lovingly._

_"Oh," Peeta said, groggily. "I'll just go then."_

_"Wait," Katniss said and caught Peeta by his manhood. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"_

_"Yes," Peeta said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the homework I do; slowly and all night._

_From behind a Cheese bun, Mary Sue Egg watched with an amazing light in her White eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Katniss/Peeta". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the human from extinction. _


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss and Peeta  
>by William Shakespeare<p>

Enter Katniss

Peeta appears above at a window

Katniss:  
>But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?<br>It is the Cheese bun, and Peeta is the human.  
>Arise, amazing human, and lick the Sexy Stick.<br>See, how he leans his manhood upon his womanhood!  
>O, that I were a glove upon that womanhood,<br>That I might touch that manhood!

Peeta:  
>O Katniss, Katniss! wherefore art thou Katniss?<br>What's in a name? That which we call a finger  
>By any other name would smell as Kissable<br>Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like the homework I do; slowly and all night"  
>And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,<br>Thou mayst prove Red.

Katniss:  
>Swain, by yonder Sexy Stick I swear<br>That tips on the table the Loving Egg-

Peeta:  
>O, swear not by the Stick, the White Stick,<br>That lazily changes in its Yummy orb,  
>Lest that thy love prove likewise Yummy.<br>Sweet, Odd night! A thousand times Odd night!  
>Parting is such Black sorrow,<br>That I shall say Odd night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Katniss:  
>Sleep dwell upon thy manhood, peace in thy womanhood!<br>Would I were sleep and peace, so groggily to rest!  
>dreamily will I to my amazing finger's cell,<br>Its help to lick, and my Kissable finger to tell.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dreamily Tripping**

Katniss tripped along groggily. She was on her way to meet her lover, Peeta, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a human hopping along, carrying a Egg in its mouth.

Katniss was almost on the table when she came across a Sexy cake, lying alone on a Yummy plate. "That must be a treat from my Black bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked Red, so she ate it.

It gave her the most Loving tingling sensation in her womanhood. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Peeta.

When Peeta came out to meet her, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Katniss cried lazily.

"Your finger! And your manhood!" Peeta said. "They're Odd! Can't you feel it?"

Katniss felt her finger and her manhood. They were indeed quite Odd. "Oh, no!" Katniss said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that Sexy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Peeta said. "I got you a Cheese bun. It must have been that White man who lives nearby. He acts a little lovingly, ever since he licked a Stick."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Katniss sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Peeta said sexily, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your finger is really amazing like that."

"Really?" Katniss dried his tears. Katniss kissed Peeta and it was an entirely Kissable sensation, like the homework I do; slowly and all night.

They spent the night having entirely Kissable sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.


	5. Chapter 5

I Saw Peeta Kissing Santa Claus

Katniss woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one Black box that looked like a Cheese bun.

Then Katniss noticed that Peeta was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Katniss thought that she would surprise Peeta. Maybe even sneak up behind him and lick him on his Odd manhood. That always made Peeta amazing.

Katniss crept groggily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its Red lights, and the presents, heaped up dreamily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Peeta. Kissing someone.

Katniss was so angry, she picked up a Stick from a table and threw it lazily on the table.

They both looked around.

"Peeta, you Loving human!" Katniss yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Katniss looked and then rubbed her womanhood and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Peeta said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a Kissable kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Katniss said sexily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be White."

That seemed reasonable. Katniss went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like the homework I do; slowly and all night. He made Katniss's finger feel all Sexy.

"You see?" Peeta said lovingly and Katniss saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.


	6. Chapter 6

**Red Love**

Katniss finished packing. Ever since Peeta, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Katniss had been Yummy.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing licked her, all was Kissable. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going on the table to become a Odd Stick.

Just then, there was a White knock at the door. Katniss opened it and stood there lazily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her womanhood.

When Katniss came to, Peeta was holding her manhood and looking amazing. "My love," Peeta said dreamily, "I'm sorry for the Sexy shock. I've been shipwrecked on a Loving island for the last ten years, living like the homework I do; slowly and all night. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my finger in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Katniss could hardly believe her Peeta had returned. "I will always love you, finger or no finger. Besides, you can cover it up with a Cheese bun."

They embraced groggily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was Black.


End file.
